If I could, I would

• 24 June 2017
• Jane Evans
• no comments

You Don’t Know but You Need Too

(Based on the story of a young person I worked with who gave me permission to share his early years experiences)

You don’t know the things I’ve seen heard felt tasted even smelt

You don’t know how often fear has shot through me the blows I’ve been dealt

You don’t know how alone afraid I was when beside him I knelt

You don’t know how he lay in his vomit too drunk to move from it

 

You don’t know how it feels to live days filled with fear

You don’t know the terror of him saying ‘I’m just off out for a beer’

You don’t know how it feels to wait wait wait for the fall through the door

You don’t know how after every drunk-filled apology there is always more

 

You don’t know how often I try not to lash out

You don’t know how loudly the voices in my head rage scream shout

You don’t know how often I cope and walk away

You don’t know how hard I have to work to get through my day

 

You don’t know all the terrible things I need to find words for

You don’t know how much I dread being sent out the classroom door

You don’t know how I hide the shame loss humiliation I feel

You don’t know how a lonely corridor makes my failure seem real

 

You don’t know how horrendous my pain let loose could be

You don’t know how much I see me as the problem now not he

You care so you focus on fixing what I let you see

You care but first please truly understand all that lies within me

 

By Jane Evans

There are many challenges when we work with children and young people. These can increase when they repeatedly present with difficult and seemingly self-sabotaging behaviours.

Focusing on being able to more fully understand what lies beyond these behaviour for every child in our schools, pre-schools and nurseries is so important.

The Adverse Childhood Experiences Study (ACES) provides clear evidence of how common early trauma is for children and the impact on behvioural and health outcomes for life.

To find out more about ACES, catch a screening of the outstanding Resilience Documentary by KPJR Films. Screenings are happening across the UK and private viewings can be arranged via Darmouth Films.

To join my ACES and working with childhood trauma events visit my Training & Events page. 

12th September – Bristol

18th September – Birmingham

6th October –       London

Email: janeevans61@hotmail.co.uk to book your place