Put your shoes to one side and try mine on for a day

• 29 May 2016
• Jane Evans
• no comments

It’s not fun to be me but it’s all I have for now
I am never far from a fight or a row
Most days I barely get my foot through the door
Before being sent back through it to stand reflect and stare at the floor

I am the one everyone knows and whispers about
Good luck with her she will look for rules she can flout
Fiery bad tempered a pain in the arse
Won’t settle picks fights pushes buttons real fast

Just tow the line they tell me
Keep calm and you will be conflict free
Keep your anger within just inwardly seethe
Think before you act or speak or breathe

I would if I could
I get that I should
I hate all the whispers nudges and sniggers
But I never know what will be my next triggers

It’s not fun to be me that I can tell you
Every day I set out to do right through and through
I practice how to be quiet not answer back
My intentions are to be kind friendly keep on track

Don’t you think if I could I would be good for you
Yet my anxious reactive fear fueled brain is misunderstood
It has helped me survive even kept me alive
Yet it ruins every attempt I make to get on with life and thrive

It must be hard for you to see through my eyes
Yet would you handle my fear and anxiety without aggression or lies
Put your shoes to one side and try mine for a day
Then tell me you would be calm engaged ready to learn and to play

Every day children overcome and suppress things they should not have too. Children who are highly anxious or who have been impacted by living in fear within their own homes.

It rests with us to look way, way past the behaviour they show us.

Sadly, its often their only means of communicating their inner state. If we spent a day with their level of stress, fear and sensory overload we may not fare as well as they do!

To learn more about understanding and working with the impact of repetitive childhood trauma, join on of my Masterclasses.